|plate full of food.
||[Jan. 21st, 2010|08:56 am]
exactly a month ago,
i was enjoying Day 3 of my HK trip, Disneyland if i'm not.. :)
but a month later,
i am exhausted, very stressed, so sick of everything.
i am slogging my ass out at home.
i am not exactly physically tired, more so emotionally drained.
kids are such energy suckers, they literally suck the life out of you. argh
the cause of all?
i am covering a colleague's job, taking over her Pri 1 class.
yes, i was suppose to be a pri 1 form teacher, then deployed to be non-core teacher then now back to being a pri 1 form.
"good what! form teacher leh!!" was what ppl said..
but in reality, i am just a relief teacher.
except, a relief teacher earns $65/day and they have no admin duties to do.
try having 30 7 year olds in a classroom, facing them the entire day, except for their daily 3 period of MT classes.
i don't have time to even pee, let alone have my recess. :(
they obviously don't know the meaning of "Wait."..they scream their requests and expects you to answer them immediately.
you find yourself repeating your instructions like 10 times and at the end of it, they forgot all about it in 3 secs.
they are cute, really.
but they suck the life out of you.
and i am so stressed.
taking over the class halfway, i don't know where to continue, i don't know where's their level of understanding.
i know it's just the first week, but when i realise they don't quite understand..i can't help but question myself if i am doing a good job.
i feel like my plate's already full of food, yet daily it's still getting piled up with MORE food.
with the other responsibilities coming along.
oh my goodness. :(
i've been breaking down the past 2 days, crying everyday i reach home.
i am so so so so so drained. :(
i feel like giving up my tuition kid. sigh
but through it all,
i am thankful for the different ones who really cared.
colleagues that went out of their way to help me out, friends who bothered to check up on me after seeing my distressed status on fb..
church mates who helped out with my Net Rally planning..
thank you! :)
thank God for all of you really!
i guess i should pick myself up soon.
i will walk on strong and prove it to those who thought i will probably never walk out of this alive..
i will survive. :)
somehow, somewhat..like i always do.
jia you ee ling!
(p.s. i really miss you adelene wee wee weeeee! :( sorry for crying out loud over the phone that day..but it was therapeutic.. haha! anw, i am glad you are having fun in hall! but come back soon! I MISS YOU! :( )